What’s Love Got to do With it?

 What’s love got to do with it? Boost your self-esteem with self-love

There are thousands of books and movies about love between a man and a woman. However, there is less discussion on a very important kind of love often overlooked; love of yourself. Ask yourself right now, “What does loving yourself mean and how is it connected to boosting your self-confidence? How would confidence and acceptance improve our community? Self-acceptance and self-love is what gives birth to self-confidence and self-esteem, and makes for a stronger community.

It’s automatic to assume that love is between people and other people, places, animals, and things. “Love yourself”, and “self-love” are terms that we might hear from a therapist or in a yoga class, and most people regard it to be of the selfish kind. Self-love is not about thinking you’re the best and putting yourself before others.  

Self-love is more about self-acceptance which then boosts self-esteem. Many men and women suffer from low confidence and self-esteem because they lack self-love. How are the two connected? Well, self-acceptance is of two sorts for the sake of this discussion. Firstly, we can either be accepting of who we are or not. Different aspects of our lives such as our heritage, appearance, social and economic strata are all part of who we are and how we see ourselves. Therefore, it’s safe to assume that those who take pride in who they are and have a more accepting attitude towards themselves as a whole are as a result also more confident about who they are. 

Secondly, having the courage to share and stand by our principles, beliefs and opinions are another example of self-acceptance. Many of us who are more concerned by what others may think of our ideas/beliefs are looking for approval and acceptance by others rather than from ourselves. I can say from experience, that expecting approval from others is a sure path to unhappiness and self-doubt. 

We often teach our children to believe in themselves. What does that really mean? Be accepting of yourself and of your beliefs in the face of doubt and disagreement. This practice of self-love needs to be cultivated from a very early age, and within our homes and schools supported by friends and community. 

Our society is full of people who are judgemental, critical and full of self-loathing, and often their negativity towards others actually stem from the negativity they feel about themselves. Therefore, self-acceptance is the seed to planting the tree of tolerance and acceptance for others. In a community where people are accepting and confident with themselves, they are more likely to be open and accepting of others. Let’s encourage self-love, that will eventually lead to love for others.